Hungry Heart

I love Sara Rue. I've loved her ever since I first saw her in Popular (yeah, remember that?). She's so funny and witty and her hair is gorgeous. But this year, our relationship (hah) has changed. She started her weight loss journey when I did and for most of it, our losses mirrored each other. As of late, however, she has been doing fantastically and I have..not. I previously mentioned how much I love her blog, but today I watched her latest vlog (or video blog, for those of you who aren't in the know :)) and I cried.

I never talked about this stuff. With anyone. Ever. I didn't want to be that girl. I didn't want to be known for that. So, to see Sara say these things out loud, basically to the world... it was a double whammy. My heart was screaming, "You GET it! You really GET it!" and my head was saying, "Oh my god, she's crazy. Or brave. Or both. She's telling the whole world her issues!"

One of the parts that I kept re-winding to hear again was when she said, "What wasn't easy was all the stuff that was going on in my head. Look, I've been overweight my whole life and you don't get there by just what's on your plate. You get there because you either don't understand how to live a healthy life, or you don't want to. Or worse, you think you don't deserve to. So, yes I had lost weight before on other diets quickly. But I didn't give my heart and my soul and my brain the chance to catch up with me. They didn't buy what I was doing because it wasn't sustainable and they were all probably really hungry."

As you may have guessed, I cried when she said "Or worse, you think you don't deserve to." But once I wiped my eyes, what really stuck with me was the end. It's one thing to feed your body. It's another to feed your heart, your soul and your mind. I think what she was doing, and what I was doing for so long, was only feeding my body, and probably at the exact same time, starving the rest of me. I feel like I should apologize to my heart, soul and mind for all of the ways I shortchanged them. All of the things I told myself I couldn't do or shouldn't wear or say or even feel.

So now, in my new life, my new way of life, I should say, I am listening to my body and feeding it when it's hungry. But that includes all of me. Sometimes, my heart is hungry and I feed it some feel-good romantic comedies. Sometimes, my soul is hungry and I hit up a yoga class. Sometimes, my brain is hungry and I put down OK! and Star magazines and pick up a nice, juicy novel. And sometimes, my tummy is hungry and I feed it - but smartly and consciously.

If you have a moment today, watch her vlogs, read her blog, see her journey. At the very least, it will inspire you to make a change, to find happiness in yourself, like Sarah has, and like I am. :)